


best of me

by herillusion



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Slytherin Harry Potter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2020-02-04 15:44:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18607564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/herillusion/pseuds/herillusion
Summary: He acted like he was invulnerable most of the time, but he wasn’t. Harry understood that, but didn’t try to mollycoddle him. He let Tom have his own space when he needed it, or remained there quietly supportive as a reminder that he wasn’t alone, that someone would always be there for him. He’d never learnt how to express negative emotions in a way that wasn’t destructive, but Harry never held it against him – they had had the same upbringing, after all. (AU - Harry grows up with Tom in the orphanage)





	best of me

Tom glanced up sharply when he heard a rustle – they were technically allowed out into the garden, or what passed for one in the orphanage, as long as they made sure to keep their clothes clean but not many people often ventured out regardless. He wasn’t sure how much of that was due to them trying to avoid him, after the reputation he had earned for hurting anyone who displeased him and how much of that was just habit from the amount of time they spent everyday cooped up in the safe confines of the house but he wasn’t arguing with the aftereffects. It was hard to find peace and quiet in a house full of kids, even if there was a hushed silence that fell when he walked into a room. 

He could feel their stares and scrutiny – fear, anger, hatred. Nothing new that he wasn’t used to, but it wasn’t exactly conducive for many deep thoughts. He was fairly certain most of them were too afraid of him to try anything, after what had happened to the last person who did, but humans were unpredictable. He wouldn’t put it past any of them to suddenly get some nerve to try to see if they could get rid of him once and for all. Tough luck for them, because there was never a moment he wasn’t on guard and ready to strike back. The gaze that now met his was new, however. The boy had been brought in just a few days ago. Small framed with wide green eyes peering out innocently behind wire framed round glasses, Tom predicted he would be gone in a matter of weeks. 

Most of them were too old to be adopted, as most people who came around wanted a child they could bring up as their own, not children who were old enough to remember their own parents. But if there were any people willing to adopt older kids, the boy made a perfect candidate. He didn’t have the rebellious air which made most adults decide against Tom at first glance. Instead, he gave off this aura which made you want to protect him. To hold him close and make sure no one would hurt him. Not that it worked on him, he thought scornfully as he glared at the boy.

“What is it?” 

Surprisingly, he didn’t show any signs of fear as he inched closer. The other children had to have shared the stories with him by now. Why wasn’t he afraid? Even if he wasn’t afraid of Tom, any other child would have shied away upon seeing what he was doing. A green garden snake was coiled up quietly in his lap, part of its body twined around his arms. It wasn’t poisonous- garden variety ones rarely were and even it was it wouldn’t have hurt him – but most people would have been made uneasy nonetheless, preferring to avoid the reptile entirely rather than risk being bitten. He wasn’t sure whether to be irritated or curious as the boy sat opposite him, reaching a hand out to stroke the snake. Maybe the hissing would scare him off, he thought. 

It wasn’t as if he wasn’t already considered weird, and it didn’t matter if he ran to the adults to tell tales. No one would ever believe he was communicating with snakes, they would just see a child playing make believe. What he did not expect, however, was the boy speaking with them too. If the snake hadn’t been on his lap, he would have jumped to his feet and demanded an explanation.

“My name’s Harry. Harry Potter.”

This, he realised, were the first words he had heard the boy speak since he’d been brought here. He knew that already, of course – he had been introduced to all of them at large, and he knew to pay attention to names, if nothing else. Information was power, and it wouldn’t do to miss out on anything just because most other things the adults chose to talk about were insignificant. This boy, he thought now, might be more interesting than he had initially assumed. He didn’t say much more, despite Tom’s attempted questioning – merely looked at him with those eerily green eyes – which was frustrating, but by far the most neutral reaction Tom had received in a while. Which was what prompted his next words, the closest thing to kind he’d attempted for a while.

“They’ll hate you, if you see you with me.”

But Harry just shrugged in response. So be it. He’d done his part to try to warn off the boy, it wasn’t his responsibility if he refused to take that advice. He didn’t question himself too much about why he didn’t try harder, ignoring the small voice that thought it was nice to finally have some companionship. He wasn’t lonely. He didn’t need anyone to survive, just himself. And Harry stuck by him like a particularly annoying limpet, despite all the suspicious looks and whispers by the other children. Though he would be pressed to admit it to anyone, not even himself, Harry sort of grew on him. He never really became more verbal than he initially came across, but he did talk to Tom more than he seemed to to anyone else. Maybe he’d made the right choice, despite Tom warning him off initially. The others pounced on anyone they sensed was weak or stood out in any way, and they could have taken Harry’s unnatural silence as an excuse to get on his case.

The adults probably thought that of him – that he was taking advantage of Harry in some way, because who else would willingly stay with someone like him? He was a mitigating influence in some ways too – Tom didn’t feel the need to prove his superiority as much as a form of protection because he had Harry to watch his back. He wasn’t altogether convinced the boy wouldn’t betray him at some point, but as it was, he didn’t have much logical reason to. He was grateful for it in some way, when the old man came around and told them about magic. He hadn’t seemed too taken with Tom, but without Harry there, he thought he might have made a worse impression, desperate for the approval of an authority figure for this new world they would be heading into. It has been Harry’s hand around his wrist that had curbed his tongue from that instinctive need to show the extent of his powers. 

Harry thankfully followed him into Slytherin, where they remained two peas in a pod, the rest of their yearmates ostracizing them once they found out neither of them were purebloods. He had been bitter about it, but ultimately unsurprised. They had left the orphanage where they had been shunned for being different, only for the same thing to happen again here for a different reason. It seemed like no matter where they were, people would be prejudiced regardless. It didn’t matter, he told himself. He knew he was more powerful than them, was brilliant enough to make the teachers sit up and take note of him if he wanted to. It was for Harry’s sake that he tried to keep a low profile. They needn’t make a spectacle of themselves to be gawked at, which was something Gryffindors didn’t understand, wanting to be in the limelight and receive attention for their efforts. 

His efforts were irrregardless, enough to garner praise from several of his professors, for his speed in picking up new things. He hardly understood human emotions, but Harry’s quiet validation was somehow more satisfying than the compliments he was showered with from girls of various years, as he suspected those were shallow and targeted more towards wanting him to date them. He knew he was still too lean, as was Harry – they ate well at Hogwarts, but the conditions at the orphanage had hardly improved over the years, especially during these times where there was rationing during the war. That aside, his looks combined with the overall sense of mystery he projected served as an irresistible allure to many. 

He managed to brush most of them off smoothly, citing the fact that he was too busy juggling his studies and Prefect responsibilities to date. Harry got his fair share of admirers too, his aura unchanged from when Tom had first met him. The type of girls that approached them were generally different, the girls that were drawn to Harry seemed more like they wanted to be his older sister and take care of him while the girls that flirted with Tom tended to eye him in a way that made him feel dirty, like in their eyes he was only a sexual object. Harry ignored most of them, yet another thing that hadn’t changed from when he was younger was how quiet he was, and Tom unsuccesfully tried to convince himself it didn’t matter to him, the fact that how Harry still chose him even though they weren’t isolated and treated as outcasts anymore.

Their Housemates were hardly friendly, but people from other Houses were less hostile once they realised they weren’t bigots. Harry’s only friends outside of Tom were a Muggleborn from Gryffindor and a halfblood Slytherin in the year above them. The muggleborn almost seemed more fit for Ravenclaw in his opinion, given how much time she seemed to spend studying or in the library. Tom wasn’t sure he would call them friends, but he did see how their similarities would have called to Harry. Neither really had other friends, and there was something riveting in watching such knowledge and talent on display. Tom understood, he was friends with Tom after all. He knew there was more to it than that, of course. If Harry only spent time with him because of his talent, he would be no different from the people around him who tried to curry his favor. 

Merlin knew how he had even befriended either of them with the amount of time he spent at Tom’s side, but Tom begrudgingly allowed their company, although he had to quash the voice reminding him how he’d rather have Harry all to himself, just like things used to be. It ultimately didn’t change much. Though he didn’t think he made his jealousy obvious, Harry seemed to pick up on it nevertheless and show his devotion to Tom in subtle ways. Tom didn’t know how he managed to track down the Slytherin locket, but the reminder of his lineage was appreciated, not to mention the fact that not many could unlock it since they didn’t know Parseltongue. 

He didn’t know how their relationship had progressed from friends to more, but it seemed natural, in its own way. They had known each other for years, and Tom barely let anyone else close enough to trust. He knew love and trust weren’t the same, that you could love someone without trusting them and vice versa. If he wanted something casual, he had more than his fair share to choose from. It would be tit for tat, if he used them for their bodies and them for his. An equal exchange. But it felt like it would be a betrayal, somehow, even if Harry never asked anything of him. 

He had given himself to Tom in so many different ways, that by changing the nature of their relationship, it didn’t feel that much had changed aside from the physical intimacy. Tom had to admit it was soothing, to just lie with his head in Harry’s lap and have hands run through his hair. His brain was always working on overtime, and those moments of peace were appreciated, though hard to find. He wasn’t always sure he deserved it sometimes - that unconditional loyalty Harry offered, the patience he showed Tom when he was upset, the refusal to walk away no matter what Tom threw at him in anger and hurt. He didn’t know how he would have ended up, without someone at Harry at his side, to ground him and remind him not to get lost in his own head. 

He acted like he was invulnerable most of the time, but he wasn’t. Harry understood that, but didn’t try to mollycoddle him. He let Tom have his own space when he needed it, or remained there quietly supportive as a reminder that he wasn’t alone, that someone would always be there for him. He’d never learnt how to express negative emotions in a way that wasn’t destructive, but Harry never held it against him – they had had the same upbringing, after all. He struggled with control even now, some days his emotions would fluctuate for no apparent reason, but Harry never judged him foe it, never made it feel like it was his fault, or that there was something lacking in him that made him act out like a toddler throwing a tantrum. He could only hope he returned the favor, lacking as he might be.

He couldn’t remember how their relationship started, but he thought it began with holding hands. He knew they might be seen as odd, spending nearly all their time together, neither having really dated or seeming to have interest in any of the girls that pursued them. But he had never really thought about romance, and finding out about how his mother had drugged his father wih a love potion hardly gave him any faith in love or his ability to do so. He thought he might have gone off the rails when he’d confronted his father, furious that he’d been abandoned, and that rage in him could have pushed him to do something worse if not for Harry, who’d insisted on going with him, whose hand entwined firmly with his had reminded him of their first meeting with Dumbledore. They had held hands all the way back to where they had been staying, and it had helped him to center himself, to focus on something besides the mess of the situation. 

It had perhaps been more to calm him than anything else, but the next time they were in Hogsmeade and Harry had forgotten his gloves yet again, he had forgone casting a warming charm in favor of taking the smaller hand in his. He had rolled his eyes as he had done so, ready to play it off as a joke if Harry hadn’t taken it well, but he had just gotten a sweet smile in return. That seemingly also kickstarted increased physical contact between them. Tom was loath to call it cuddling, but sometimes the smaller boy would lean a head on his shoulder when they were in the library and no one was around, and Tom would allow it. It was somehow comforting, to be trusted in such a way, and Tom would curl an arm around his waist in return.

He had never really understood the appeal of kissing, but their first kiss had been nothing dramatic. They had been in their dorm room and Tom had gestured for him to come over, which Harry had done with a questioning look, settling in on his bed naturally. They’d used to curl up together for warmth in the orphanage during the winter, so although Tom wasn’t really a touchy person, he was comfortable with Harry in his space. He hadn’t outright asked, but he thought he had made his intentions clear, and Harry hadn’t shown any objection. He still wasn’t sure he understood the appeal, exactly, but there was something desirable in that quiet intimacy, in knowing Harry wanted him, and him as he was, not an image he projected. 

They hadn’t made any declarations, exactly – boyfriends seemed too trivial a term for all that they meant to each other, and lovers seemed too overtly sexual. Soulmates might fit, for the way Harry understood him without words was unprecedented, but it came across too sentimental for his liking. They didn’t have to put a label on it, he supposed. It didn’t change much between them, except the fact that Tom could now claim Harry as his and mark him clearly off limits to the general populace if he wanted. His innate possessiveness almost demanded that he do so, but the fact that same sex relationships were still looked upon with trepidation as a whole deterred him from doing so. He hadn’t thought about what he wanted to do after graduating from Hogwarts yet – he knew many avenues would be open to him due to his grades, so he wanted to keep his options open if he intended to go into politics. 

Being Minister for Magic sounded far fetched, young as he was, but he knew he would be capable of gathering the support he needed in time. It would give him a way to change the world like he wanted. He was charismatic enough to be a politician, though he wasn’t sure yet if he had the patience to make nice with all the people he would need to. The fact that he had been Headboy would help. He had been voted as Headboy almost unanimously, with the exception of Professor Dumbledore, he’d heard. He wasn’t sure what the Transfiguration Professor held against him, but he was eyed with doubt even now, after years of impeccable conduct. He had considered applying to be a professor, but there were rumours that Dumbledore would be taking over Dippet as Headmaster soon, in which case he doubted his application would be accepted. 

He knew Harry would follow him wherever he chose to go, which unfortunately wasn’t much help in making a decision. It was soothing, nonetheless, to know that he need not split his attention between work and his personal life. Harry brought out the best in him, encouraged him to shine, yet he would never ask too much of him. He had known Tom long enough to know that he could get caught up in his obsessions at times, but it didn’t mean he didn’t care in his own way. Harry would always be the lodestone he would circle back to, and he would strive to keep their relationship as it had always been. An equal give and take, someone who wasn’t afraid to stand up to him, who would step in and nudge him to the right path if necessary. He had never had any illusions about his own morality or lack of, but he had faith in Harry and he knew Harry would stop him from going too far.

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't really written much slash in HP so..here. I'm not sure if the characters were OOC - since Harry didn't grow up with the Dursleys and instead with Tom, some things are bound to be different, but whether the end result is believable..well. The friends Harry makes don't make much of an appearance so I didn't tag for them but in my head they were Hermione & Snape. I threw some background away - how Harry can be a Potter and end up in an orphanage..I leave up to your imagination. Ending is ambiguous because I'm not sure where Tom will end up either. I don't know if I talked about the romance enough - in some ways, this was more like an exploration of how things could have gone if Tom hadn't had the 1st meeting with Dumbledore go the way it had, & if he had some company throughout his Hogwarts days. I left it open to interpretation as well but: Tom is hinted to have some sort of mood disorder (hence the issues with controlling his anger) & also to be asexual (lack of interest in kissing, etc.).


End file.
